Contented, Random, Worried.
I love when I prove them wrong. Don’t doubt me because I’m slow sometimes or because I look like a person who looks like they half ass’ shit. Because bitches, I work my ass off to be where I am right now. And you know what? I’m completely proud of myself and all the accomplishments I have made. Sometimes I think back about high school, and wonder what people thought about me, because I am not gonna lie… yeah I did copy and cheat. And I really think some people thought I wasn’t gonna be able to survive, and probably thought wtf, why she applying to those schools.. blah blah etc. But my point is, I’m proud of myself because while I’m trying to bust my ass in school..while being employed with ~16 hours a week.. and while at it trying to keep a stable relationship with my boyfriend, friends, and family. Especially making time for all of them. I’m proud because my hard work is paying off, with all those weekends just trying to do my homework and being able to make sure it doesn’t interfere with work.. It paid off. I feel like I’ve proved all those who have doubted me wrong, I do shit on my own and while at it, trying to juggle all the other responsibilities on my shoulder.
My sisters friend told me, “I think when I move back to Cali, I’m going to go back to school because I think about it like this… you only have one life to live, so why not be the best you can be and become what you want to be..”
It has always stuck in my head, So just think about it, why waste the only life you have fucking around? When in reality you’ll probably be doing that the rest of you life and not get anywhere. Sometimes you need to get yourself in check, because honey.. we are seriously growing up and have to start thinking about the future. I’m just saying that, you have to completely believe in yourself, and what you put in is what you’ll get.
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Man.. having determination for doing good in school has fucked me over too.. hahah, I’m fat and really want to get in shape. =( Just my luck too, it’s the holidays! I guess I will have to make it my new years resolution AGAIN! hahah man! But can you believe it? It is already Thanksgiving! Guess what, it’s already SUMMER! hahaha, you know meee.. jen.. ahaha. But man it is just so weird how the weeks go by so fast!
I can’t wait till Christmas, my sisters are coming and my little niece and nephew. =) Oh! that reminds me! Let me show you a picture! She is so cute!
Isn’t she so adorable?! Well anyways, speaking about christmas.. I am going to spend too much money, especially on family. Mark always says,”Damn I really do hope your sisters give you something hella good.” When he says that it’s like.. man it is hella whatever. Yeah I honestly try to give the best gifts I can give which obviously costs me hella money. But the way I look at it is.. I only care to make them happy and surprised. I mean at least I get something from them, but I think spending my money is worth it. I have a job so its not like I can’t regain my money again. I feel that I have so much money in my account where its like, I’m not gonna drop all that money on me.. for what reason? yenno, it’s like perfect timing to because I can use the money I’ve earned and give people gifts out of my love and appreciation.
ANYWAYS, I would be damned if Ellis gets traded. because I seriously bought Mark tickets for the Warriors game for christmas and got like a couple rows off of the floor behind their bench. I would be like damn, I wasted hella money for this game!!! and this shit happens!!!! OMG! I’m so mad..
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Well, to follow up on my issue, I’m going to the dermatologist next week. I got so mad at my doctor and her nurse, that I emailed my doctor about how much more time I had to wait for an appointment and asked her to do something about it. So she did, She apologized, but who cares.. she is a sucky ass doctor and I am going to change doctors. Hopefully everything goes well? People think it is getting bigger, and the worse part is I think I found two more small spots.. which scares me. =/ But I try not it get the best of me, I try to be optimistic because that is all I can do.
… Well I guess that is all for today, till next time!
